I'm generally a pretty laid back person. I let my emotions show like the sun most of the time, but I try to take things in stride. However, sometimes I get angry enough where I freeze, stifled from speech because something pisses me off so much.
I get frustrated to easily yes, but very few things make me the aforementioned angry. One of those things is saying something derogatory towards GLBT peoples. That such instance happened earlier tonight. I decided to head to walmart to pick up some towels, and like I always do when going into Walmart, I head to the electronics section to either drool over things, or peruse stuff to see what's new. I headed over to the PC games and looking at various requirements for playing, I hear someone next to me utter, "Only faggots play Warcraft."
My internal angry generator went into hyperdrive, I stood there for a few seconds seething with rage, and then soon put down the game I was looking at and simply walked away. I walked about halfway to the entrance, and then decided to head back. Part of me wanted to go back and rant at the man that had said this hateful thing, not directed at me, just in general. Another part of me wanted to simply, at the moment of the utterance, turn to the person and be like, "well, a good deal of straight people play Warcraft too, and the correct term is homosexual, not faggot you inbred rednneck." I have not the courage to do such things, but I did want to go back, and not feel discouraged in enjoying the prettiness that some games look like they provide. I find that that person hasn't moved, I see that he is quite large, I.E. snapping snarkily at him probably would end in a punch or something. Just as I'm about to reach the PC games once again, his kid walks up to him. I'm pretty sure the previous comment was directed at him earlier.
What in all of the nine hells is this man teaching his kid? Is he breeding yet another ignorant hate monger that will make another gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender's life a living hell? I certainly hope not. At least he informed him at the fact that many homosexuals play Warcraft, and therefore he should not, lest he have the innate ability to know what colors go with what, and how to probably arrange a filing cabinet.(It's part of our super powers, look it up.)
It both baffles me and enrages me that it exists to carelessly in our culture. It's not like I didn't know that Bemidi isn't homophobic, mainly conservative hate speech christians. I also know it's not the word that is the real problem, it's the meaning behind it, and earlier tonight, there was plenty of hate behind that single word. I wanted to be able to turn to him and say something snarky, something that may make him equally angry. I realize when thinking about it, that instead of trying to snap back, to make him angry, I should have simply stated that it was unkind for such words to be spoken, merely as a calm protest to the act of using that word in such a hateful way. Maybe one day I will be able to do this, I'll let the anger just go, and try to inform someone how much it can affect someone, which, no matter the case, if there is someone dealing with sexuality, or gender, it will affect them if they hear that kind of speech even if it's not directly specifically at one person. It will affect them even if they are straight as a ruler and have no issues with any sort of identity in sexuality or gender, by shaping how they should view people who are dealing with those issues.
I can hope that one day everyone will generally get along. Hoping doesn't get shit done, action does. I need to try to actively let go of the anger, and just turn to a person and say, he, knock that off, that's really hurtful to people. I hope that that act will open up minds, or maybe, just maybe someone nearby will hear this, and try to take a stand themselves, either distancing themselves from hateful people, or standing up against those whom would hate on them. I'm not going to try to be a hero, merely a person who hates what is so casually thrown around, and who knows how much a simple word can affect someone.
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